so as i sit and...

watch the giro...why is it the only rider that they talk about 'getting' into shape is only one of them? sure they speak of other riders coming into shape. or getting there for the season. but only one about shedding the winter pounds? who is this rider? i'm sure you know...it's jan. mr. ullrich himself. every freaking year it's the same crap from him. winter comes and so does the fat. for us 'normal' folks its fine. the winter ales come up. the move towards the stouts. the weight that i lost during the season beings to come back a little, and then it's time to get my butt moving again. but riding a bike is not my living. it's not my cash cow. my livelihood. so i am able to afford it. he just seems to have so much talent that he just let's it go down the drain.

anyway; on another note...i was thinking back to the last group ride i did. and during this ride i found myself in the back, going down hill, and i was braking. well, i can't have that. so i moved up to the front the next chance i had. and then i wanted to catch the two ahead of us. so i put the hammer down, and the rest followed. and i was driven to catch them. i almost did, but i think we got caught by a light or something. but i was thinking...why am i so driven sometimes in a group ride like that, but when i'm just hanging out with friends i'm just doing my best, but not busting ass? i got into cycling, because of the individuality, and not the group thing. but when i find myself riding in groups of five or more, i tend to find myself up front pulling sometime, and busting ass for what purpose i don't know. what is up with that? am i more concerned about the whole? not letting the whole down? should i find a team and see what happens? i know in c-cross i just loose it, but i'm often on a single speed, and they put a huge flat out there, and everyone takes off. my c-cross bike is coming back, so maybe i build up a pure c-cross race bike, and see what happens there. what's wrong with me? you'd think i would bust it out there on my own with close friends, and not with a group of people i don't know. anyone with any thoughts?