Tuesday, January 03, 2006

i hope that...

everyone had a great christmas and a happy new year. i'm not a late night kind of person anymore, so it was a little difficult to stay up and watch the ball drop. in fact i passed out during the football game and woke up at a quarter to midnight to watch the festivities.

got to go out on christmas on a solo single speed ride. didn't know if i was going to go, so i didn't call anyone. thought i'd take the tow path and hit some trails, but the tow path was really icy. so i rode canal over to alexander. up alexander to the bike and hike. up the path, put some ass into it and my rear wheel pulled in on me. shit. where was my tuggnut when i needed it? pulled out my jethro tule and on my way i went. down nut house. over the creek and through the woods i went. no one was out. christmas riding is great. everyone feels the need to go to church and do there twice yearly duty. it's like when you were a kid, and you saw those relatives at your birthday and funerals. you thought to yourself "who are these people? at least they are giving me things, or they look nice in black." these have to be the thoughts of christ during christmas and easter. had a good run going down nut house. lost some grip due to all the leaves, but hey, i'm out.

couldn't go home after that. too soon. took a left on canal and headed towards sagamore hills. passed under the bike and hike. knew that would be icy too. kept going. god i love going up hills on the ss. left on dunham rd to alexander. back to the nut house. back down. took some time to meditate on the beauty of nature and the awe of it. this is why i couldn't be a professional racer. i'd stop too much and check out the scenery. and i suck. at the end took a right on canal and headed back to the car.

one of my achievements over this holiday season has been pouring a really good black and tan. half guinness. half bass. the key is the slow pour of the guinness to sit on top of the bass, and not to have any head on the bass. to see and distinction between the two. a clear line of separation. slow. patience. the ultimate ch'an experience. the peace and oneness of pouring a beer. i am now able to move onto a black and gold. one 'draw back'...you have to have two beers. you can't let two beers sit in the fridge opened. darn. i'm so proud of myself. it really is a hard thing to do. but now i must let it go, and move on. so is the way of the buddha.

so as i continue to ponder existence...i believe that who you 'feel' that you are depends on the company you keep. are you who you are because that is you or the people that surround you? did i get into cycling because of the company i keep? being around the guys at the shop, and so forth. i used to really be into hockey. knowing roosters. players. what was going on in the hockey world. why? well a good friend of mine is really into it, and we went to many a game and would talk about what was going on in the hockey world. it was like i would study for our conversations. well, we don't hang out as much due to distance of living, and life in and of itself. so it turns out that i'm not as interested as much. i still enjoy hockey, and would rather watch it compared to any other 'american' sport. let's face it...hockey is not an american sport. canada. born and bread.

back to topic...move away from the influences to find your existence. i enjoy hockey, but not the same intensity as i used to. i'm really into cycling without the influence of others. i don't hang around the people as much, and i still get out and move. i do still ride with them, but i don't see them as much. this is how you understand your existence. by yourself. without influence. many things are taught. morals. religion. move away from your 'company' to understand yourself. you many never 'know' yourself, but you are able to understand yourself. john locke stated that we are never free, because we are always bound to our desires. the buddha teaches us to be free from our desires. to see and understand a thing or experience without desires. free. without any prejudices. this is how you may 'see' yourself. without desires or influences. pure. be. here. now. peace.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

All right! A new post! With good stuff. I'll try to keep it short since I actually hope to talk to you sometime soon. First: "black and gold?" Guinness with Dortmunder Gold? Yuck. If that's what you meant, well, to each his own. Secondly, you're spot on about how being alone and away from others can help you better understand who you are. To often there's the tendency around other people to "play to the crowd." Or tend to emphasize what you have in common with others. And very often this can give people a mistaken idea of who you are. When you're alone you're most who you are. If you kick the cat when no one is looking, no matter how nice you are in front of people you'll still be someone who'd kick a cat. The masks people wear for others or because of others is put aside when time is spent alone. What one learns during this time is up to person. And you can call me Captain Obvious for stating all of the above. And finally, I'll share my new favorite quote: "All know the way, few actually walk it." --Bodhidharma

10:20 AM  
Blogger Tim Wise said...

That is very true! "All know the way, few actually walk it." Nice thought for the new year

2:45 PM  

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